Hazing Paper - Revision history

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@@ Line 9: / Line 9: @@
 ==Focus==
-He is supose to focus in on one topic.  He has chosen '''Hazing''' as his "General topic" and possibly pick ''Freshemen Hazing'' as his "focused topic." He might expand to High School Hazing for his ''Focused topic''.
+He is supose to focus in on one topic.  He has chosen '''Hazing''' as his "General topic" and possibly pick ''Freshmen Hazing'' as his "focused topic." He might expand to High School Hazing for his ''Focused topic''.
-:''I have decided''  I will focus on <strong>high school hazing</strong>.  This includes both freshmen, (which there was not much information on), and sports teams.  (Also for sports teams, new members are often freshmen) I can talk about how teens try to out-do one another and how hazing can esclate to being dangerous and illegal. --[[User:ThePlaz|Plaz]] 14:18, 17 April 2006 (EDT)
+:''I have decided''  I will focus on <strong>high school hazing</strong>.  This includes both freshmen, (which there was not much information on), and sports teams.  (Also for sports teams, new members are often freshmen) I can talk about how teens try to out-do one another and how hazing can escalate to being dangerous and illegal. --[[User:ThePlaz|Plaz]] 14:18, 17 April 2006 (EDT)
 ==Sources==
 *Must have 4 articles from databases. One from SIRS, one from EBSCO Host, one from Facts.com, and one from Opposing Viewpoints.
-*Also he must have two of the following: book soucres, website, or interview.
+*Also he must have two of the following: book sources, website, or interview.
-'''The soucres I am using are (or in part) here: [[Hazing Paper/Sources]]
+'''The sources I am using are (or in part) here: [[Hazing Paper/Sources]]
-We go to the libary on 3/29/06 and 3/31/06 to research and listen to the boring database presentation.
+We go to the library on 3/29/06 and 3/31/06 to research and listen to the boring database presentation.
-I have gotton permission to replace an EBSCO source with another SIRS source.
+I have gotten permission to replace an EBSCO source with another SIRS source.
 '''Finished MLA Works Cited: [http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060417181233%21Hazing_Paper.doc]'''
@@ Line 100: / Line 100: @@
 ===First Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060423233249%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/images/archive/20060423233249%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 '''See [[Hazing Paper/First Draft]]'''
 ===Second Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430191811%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/images/archive/20060430191811%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 '''See [[Hazing Paper/Second Draft]]'''
 ===Third Draft (After Peer Revisions 1)===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 '''See [[Hazing Paper/Third Draft]]'''
 ===Fourth Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430223538%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/images/archive/20060430223538%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 '''See [[Hazing Paper/Fourth Draft]]'''
 ===Fifth Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060501214520%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/archive/20060501214520%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 '''See [[Hazing Paper/Fifth Draft]]'''
 ===Final Submitted Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060525224357%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/images/archive/20060525224357%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 {{pdf|Image:Hazing Paper FINAL.pdf}}
 '''See [[Hazing Paper/Final Draft]]'''
@@ Line 122: / Line 122: @@
 (File updates are cumulative off second draft to make third draft)
 ===Jeff===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430193402%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/images/archive/20060430193402%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 [[:Image:Jeff Peer Response 1.png]]
 ===Kristen===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430194544%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/images/archive/20060430194544%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 [[:Image:Kristen Peer Response1.png]]
 ===Ms. Kaiser===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
+{{rev-word|http://wiki.theplaz.com/w/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-==Graded==
+==Scanned Packet/Graded==
 {{pdf|File:9th Grade English Hazing Paper Graded.pdf}}

@@ Line 129: / Line 129: @@
 ===Ms. Kaiser===
 {{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
 {{Personal Philosophies}}
 [[Category:English 9]]
 [[Category:Research Paper]]

@@ Line 130: / Line 130: @@
 {{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-==Categories==
+{{Personal Philosophies}}
 [[Category:English 9]]
 [[Category:Research Paper]]

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 [[User:ThePlaz|ThePlaz]] needs to write a 800-1000 word essay on bullying using a focal viewpoint.  The project was due on May 4, 2006.
-{{grade%|94|or 189/200 with 2 points off for not using actually using Opposing Viewpoints source; 1 point off for providing full URLs in MLA Works Cited; 2 points off for organization and repetitivness; two points off for a repetitive conclusion, and 4 points off for mechanics.  '''See the [http://theplaz.com/static/Grade%20Sheet%20and%20Comments.PDF Grade Sheet and Comments]'''}}
+{{grade%|97|I revised and resubmitted a copy and now got 197/200 points - her only concern is the lack of organization and that some points are repeated.  However my research is "remarkable and through."
 {{word|Image:Hazing Paper.doc}}
 {{pdf|Image:Hazing Paper Revised After Grade.pdf}}
@@ Line 84: / Line 87: @@
 Teens have a tendency to want to outdo one another (Bowers 1).  They want to do something better and harsher than what was done to them when they first joined the team (Bowers 1).  This leads to an endless cycle of “hazing creep” (Bowers 1).  If hazing can not be stopped, it will grow progressively worse over time. Today’s media also contributes to the problem (Bowers 1).  Teens see television shows such as “Fear Factor” and try to replicate the stunts without realizing that such stunts are closely supervised by trained professionals.  In addition, teens may observe their peers doing crazy things.  As a result of peer pressure an endless cycle of hazing creep continues.  Hazing will get progressively worse if it can not be stopped soon.
-Hazing is just wrong!  Kids should not need to go through humiliation rituals to join a club or team.  There is no need for these activities to take place.  Hazing defenders say that hazing helps build team solidarity (Facts.com 3).  “Prolonged hazing works to break down a person's earlier group allegiances and replace them with new beliefs and loyalties” says James Ogloff, a psychology professor at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, Canada (qtd. in Facts.com 3).  However, there are much more constructive ways to build team camaraderie.  Games that build trust are better then ones that destroy trust and cause suffering.  There are no valid excuses to why hazing should be practiced.  “A landmark 2000 study of U.S. high school hazing by Alfred University in New York found that almost half the students who joined school or youth organizations were hazed--1.5 million students a year--and more than a quarter were expected to perform potentially illegal acts” (qtd. in Bowers).  In addition other organizations besides school clubs and teams hazed.  The study also found that one quarter of youths joining church groups were hazed (Bowers 2).
+Hazing is just wrong!  Kids should not need to go through humiliation rituals to join a club or team.  There is no need for these activities to take place.  Hazing defenders say that hazing helps build team solidarity (Facts.com 3).  “Prolonged hazing works to break down a person's earlier group allegiances and replace them with new beliefs and loyalties” says James Ogloff, a psychology professor at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, Canada (qtd. in Facts.com 3).  However, there are much more constructive ways to build team camaraderie.  Games that build trust are better then ones that destroy trust and cause suffering.  There are no valid excuses to why hazin
-−
-Hazing ruins many students’ lives by not letting them pursue their hobbies and interests.  Many groups will not let a student join if they refuse to be hazed.  For instance, take Jack Lukic.  Hazing ruined his life.  At Cox High School, Jack wanted to join theater as an extracurricular activity and for something fun.  However, when he joined he was forced to put on a costume and bark on command for a week.  He said, “It was just humiliating.  You walk in, and they all laugh at you."  He quit on the second day and never returned to theater ever.  Even in college with different kids, he never felt like going back.  "I kind of had a bad taste for theater” (Bowers 3).  Hazing ruined his life; because of a silly, supposedly harmless prank, he could never again pursue this hobby.  There are many other stories like Jack’s out there, where kids are not allowed to pursue their hobbies and interests.  Hazing restricts their freedom to live their lives how they want, and to join the club or sport that they want to be a part of.
-−
-Most students who are hazed, do not complain.  "Some [students] say 'I had a great time.' Others say 'I had a miserable time.' And others see it as a necessary evil” (qtd. in Bushweller 2).  This is what makes hazing a difficult subject, the issue of consent.  “Psychologists say [that] most students endure hazing and never tell anyone outside the group because of an overwhelming need to belong” (qtd. in Bushweller 2).  One student even said, "I enjoyed it. It was fun. It's a bonding experience for us."
-−
-However, Art Taylor, a psychologist at the Center for the Study of Sport in Society at Northeastern University in Massachusetts, says, "That's bull.  Humiliating hazing rituals are more likely to tear people apart, destroy trust, and cause feelings of hatred.  [Also, B]oys and men who enjoy hazing others in brutal or humiliating ways are more likely to become abusive husbands or fathers” (qtd. in Bushweller 2).  Even though some victims claim they enjoy hazing, it is still harmful and inhumane to some.  To others, well they are most likely bluffing that they enjoyed being hazed.  These students just want to fit in.  This is a good example of peer pressure at work.
-−
-Hazing, although it appears harmless, can quickly become harmful and dangerous.  About 70 people have been killed by hazing in the last 20 years (Facts.com 2).  Most of these deaths occurred in college, and as a result of alcohol.  However, hazing can still be dangerous in high school.  Not only can hazing cause physical harm, it can also cause psychological damage.  Hazing is caused by a need to belong and to fit in with one’s peers.  Hazing is not combated because it is believed to be an innocent act by uneducated students, coaches, and administrators.  Victims do not speak up because of their willingness to join the team or group.  In addition, hazing is just wrong.  It is an abuse of human dignity.  There are better ways to build team solidarity and trust, then to destroy it under the guise of building such trust.  Hazing can and has ruined people’s lives and the freedom to pursue the hobbies, sports, and activities that they want to.  It is a destructive force, not a constructive force.  Hazing is not enjoyed by most victims, even though many say its fun.  Every way you look at it, hazing is just appalling and unnecessary.
-−
-−
-−
-−
-−
-−
-==Old Revisions==
-−
-===First Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060423233249%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-'''See [[Hazing Paper/First Draft]]'''
-===Second Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430191811%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-'''See [[Hazing Paper/Second Draft]]'''
-===Third Draft (After Peer Revisions 1)===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-'''See [[Hazing Paper/Third Draft]]'''
-===Fourth Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430223538%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-'''See [[Hazing Paper/Fourth Draft]]'''
-===Fifth Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060501214520%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-'''See [[Hazing Paper/Fifth Draft]]'''
-===Final Submitted Draft===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060525224357%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-{{pdf|Image:Hazing Paper FINAL.pdf}}
-'''See [[Hazing Paper/Final Draft]]'''
-−
-==Peer Revisions Round 1==
-(File updates are cumulative off second draft to make third draft)
-===Jeff===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430193402%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-[[:Image:Jeff Peer Response 1.png]]
-===Kristen===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430194544%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-[[:Image:Kristen Peer Response1.png]]
-===Ms. Kaiser===
-{{rev-word|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
-−
-==Categories==
-[[Category:English 9]]
-[[Category:Research Paper]]

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 [[User:ThePlaz|ThePlaz]] needs to write a 800-1000 word essay on bullying using a focal viewpoint.  The project was due on May 4, 2006.
-{{grade%|94|or 189/200 with 2 points off for not using actually using Opposing Viewpoints source; 1 point off for providing full URLs in MLA Works Cited; 2 points off for organization and repetitivness; two points off for a repetitive conclusion, and 4 points off for mechanics.  '''See the [http://theplaz.com/static/Grade%20Sheet%20and%20Comments.PDF Grade Sheet and Comments]'''}}{{word|Image:Hazing Paper.doc}}{{pdf|Image:Hazing Paper Revised After Grade.pdf}}{{Green Box|Paper Revised|I have made minor revision based off of the teacher comments while grading.}}
+{{grade%|94|or 189/200 with 2 points off for not using actually using Opposing Viewpoints source; 1 point off for providing full URLs in MLA Works Cited; 2 points off for organization and repetitivness; two points off for a repetitive conclusion, and 4 points off for mechanics.  '''See the [http://theplaz.com/static/Grade%20Sheet%20and%20Comments.PDF Grade Sheet and Comments]'''}}
 ==Focus==
@@ Line 81: / Line 84: @@
 Teens have a tendency to want to outdo one another (Bowers 1).  They want to do something better and harsher than what was done to them when they first joined the team (Bowers 1).  This leads to an endless cycle of “hazing creep” (Bowers 1).  If hazing can not be stopped, it will grow progressively worse over time. Today’s media also contributes to the problem (Bowers 1).  Teens see television shows such as “Fear Factor” and try to replicate the stunts without realizing that such stunts are closely supervised by trained professionals.  In addition, teens may observe their peers doing crazy things.  As a result of peer pressure an endless cycle of hazing creep continues.  Hazing will get progressively worse if it can not be stopped soon.
-Hazing is just wrong!  Kids should not need to go through humiliation rituals to join a club or team.  There is no need for these activities to take place.  Hazing defenders say that hazing helps build team solidarity (Facts.com 3).  “Prolonged hazing works to break down a person's earlier group allegiances and replace them with new beliefs and loyalties” says James Ogloff, a psychology professor at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, Canada (qtd. in Facts.com 3).  However, there are much more constructive ways to build team camaraderie.  Games that build trust are better then ones that destroy trust and cause suffering.  There are no valid excuses to why hazing s
+Hazing is just wrong!  Kids should not need to go through humiliation rituals to join a club or team.  There is no need for these activities to take place.  Hazing defenders say that hazing helps build team solidarity (Facts.com 3).  “Prolonged hazing works to break down a person's earlier group allegiances and replace them with new beliefs and loyalties” says James Ogloff, a psychology professor at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, Canada (qtd. in Facts.com 3).  However, there are much more constructive ways to build team camaraderie.  Games that build trust are better then ones that destroy trust and cause suffering.  There are no valid excuses to why hazing should be practiced.  “A landmark 2000 study of U.S. high school hazing by Alfred University in New York found that almost half the students who joined school or youth organizations were hazed--1.5 million students a year--and more than a quarter were expected to perform potentially illegal acts” (qtd. in Bowers).  In addition other organizations besides school clubs and teams hazed.  The study also found that one quarter of youths joining church groups were hazed (Bowers 2).

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:20, 25 May 2006
Line 92:		Line 92:

	Hazing, although it appears harmless, can quickly become harmful and dangerous. About 70 people have been killed by hazing in the last 20 years (Facts.com 2). Most of these deaths occurred in college, and as a result of alcohol. However, hazing can still be dangerous in high school. Not only can hazing cause physical harm, it can also cause psychological damage. Hazing is caused by a need to belong and to fit in with one’s peers. Hazing is not combated because it is believed to be an innocent act by uneducated students, coaches, and administrators. Victims do not speak up because of their willingness to join the team or group. In addition, hazing is just wrong. It is an abuse of human dignity. There are better ways to build team solidarity and trust, then to destroy it under the guise of building such trust. Hazing can and has ruined people’s lives and the freedom to pursue the hobbies, sports, and activities that they want to. It is a destructive force, not a constructive force. Hazing is not enjoyed by most victims, even though many say its fun. Every way you look at it, hazing is just appalling and unnecessary.		Hazing, although it appears harmless, can quickly become harmful and dangerous. About 70 people have been killed by hazing in the last 20 years (Facts.com 2). Most of these deaths occurred in college, and as a result of alcohol. However, hazing can still be dangerous in high school. Not only can hazing cause physical harm, it can also cause psychological damage. Hazing is caused by a need to belong and to fit in with one’s peers. Hazing is not combated because it is believed to be an innocent act by uneducated students, coaches, and administrators. Victims do not speak up because of their willingness to join the team or group. In addition, hazing is just wrong. It is an abuse of human dignity. There are better ways to build team solidarity and trust, then to destroy it under the guise of building such trust. Hazing can and has ruined people’s lives and the freedom to pursue the hobbies, sports, and activities that they want to. It is a destructive force, not a constructive force. Hazing is not enjoyed by most victims, even though many say its fun. Every way you look at it, hazing is just appalling and unnecessary.
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+	==Old Revisions==
		+
		+	===First Draft===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060423233249%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+	'''See [[Hazing Paper/First Draft]]'''
		+	===Second Draft===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430191811%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+	'''See [[Hazing Paper/Second Draft]]'''
		+	===Third Draft (After Peer Revisions 1)===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+	'''See [[Hazing Paper/Third Draft]]'''
		+	===Fourth Draft===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430223538%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+	'''See [[Hazing Paper/Fourth Draft]]'''
		+	===Fifth Draft===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060501214520%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+	'''See [[Hazing Paper/Fifth Draft]]'''
		+	===Final Submitted Draft===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060525224357%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+	{{pdf\|Image:Hazing Paper FINAL.pdf}}
		+	'''See [[Hazing Paper/Final Draft]]'''
		+
		+	==Peer Revisions Round 1==
		+	(File updates are cumulative off second draft to make third draft)
		+	===Jeff===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430193402%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+	[[:Image:Jeff Peer Response 1.png]]
		+	===Kristen===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430194544%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+	[[:Image:Kristen Peer Response1.png]]
		+	===Ms. Kaiser===
		+	{{rev-word\|http://theplaz.com/wiki/images/archive/20060430215319%21Hazing_Paper.doc}}
		+
		+	==Categories==
		+	[[Category:English 9]]
		+	[[Category:Research Paper]]